its been a month
Let me start by saying, if you are here for professional HR tips, skip this post - it gets personal.
If you are still reading, know that this isn’t something I would usually share with the world, but it felt important.
You may have noticed, its been (almost) a month since I last posted. I was feeling overwhelmed, defeated, and dare I say it - BURNT OUT. Unintentionally, I stepped away from MLP Consulting and did things like DoorDash and Instacart to make money without having to “fail”. I was just going through the motions because I had an overwhelming feeling that this was a bad idea and that the people in my personal life that were questioning my intentions were right.
I knew I needed to do something different, but I didn’t know what. So I did the only thing I could think of — find a vacation spot for 1 and go on a soul searching mission. On Tuesday, I said goodbye to Zola (my cat), packed up my jeep, and made the 10.5 hour trek to Oak Island, NC.
Something you should know about me is that trailers, platforms, bike racks, etc. on the back of vehicles stress me out. I have helped my dad many times expertly tie things down, but I am still riddled with anxiety. This doesn’t stem from anything serious, we have never lost anything off a trailer, hit anything, or witnessed it happening from someone else’s vehicle. Actually, one time, we forgot a bungee cord sitting (not attached to anything) on a cooler, and at our first gas up, while checking that everything was still secure, I found it just laying there.
I was going on my first trip alone to learn more about me, so I decided to push the limits. I bought a bike rack. Assembled it myself. Attached it to my jeep myself. Put my bike on by myself. You might be rolling your eyes, like great Morgan, anyone can do that. Sure, you might be right, but I never believed I could do it. This felt huge to me.
Pulling out of my driveway on Tuesday at 7am was the scariest moment of my life. What if the bike fell off and hit someone, what if I caused a car crash, what if I hurt someone, what if I damaged someone’s property? I kept checking my rearview mirror (like almost constantly — I had to remind myself to keep my eyes on the road in front of me). At every stop for gas (like my dad taught me), I checked the straps to make sure everything was secure. GUESS WHAT? I made it, the bike made it, the bike rack made it — no casualties. That made me believe in myself again.
Ok get on with it Morgan… what does this have to do with MLP Consulting? To be honest, I am not sure yet. Maybe it reminded me that I can do things that feel hard. Maybe it reminded me that life isn’t just about professional success. Maybe it was simply just a realization that I don’t need to be anxious about things on the back of vehicles.
Alright, thats enough for today. I hope you hear some birds chirping and see the sun today.
